/u/[deleted]'s posts in /r/TwoSentenceComedy

Year:

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The village was in chaos, because for this year's ceremony a virgin male was needed but none could be found.

331 upvotes

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[deleted by user]

325 upvotes

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My wife was very proud of me as she thought I was crying during the death scene in a movie

321 upvotes

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I've heard it said "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all."

316 upvotes

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Karen always had a soft spot for pretty men with big muscles.

312 upvotes

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I was surprised that so many people screamed at me just for wearing a mask.

301 upvotes

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What do fish use to get high?

298 upvotes

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My friend told me that she had a dream where I called her a whore and ghosted her, I told her that’s absurd.

287 upvotes

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"Life was simpler when I was single"

286 upvotes

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I once had a dog with only 3 feet.

283 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
The village was in chaos, because for this year's ceremony a virgin male was needed but none could be found.	331
[deleted by user]	325
My wife was very proud of me as she thought I was crying during the death scene in a movie	321
I've heard it said "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all."	316
Karen always had a soft spot for pretty men with big muscles.	312
I was surprised that so many people screamed at me just for wearing a mask.	301
What do fish use to get high?	298
My friend told me that she had a dream where I called her a whore and ghosted her, I told her that’s absurd.	287
"Life was simpler when I was single"	286
I once had a dog with only 3 feet.	283